If you're an instagrammer, you'll know that the latest intratrend is the "5 things that most people don't know about me post". Yes, I've been tagged. Haven't done it yet because.... There's a reason people don't know those things about me. But for a limited time only, I'll disclose this super secret info to my blogging fans only. Welcome to the very exclusive club that knows these things about me. Also, judge free zone here, k? Thanks. Enjoy.
Side note: 5 is not nearly enough. Small lists aren't really my thing.
1. When I'm bored, I like to clean my change and sort face cards... judge me if you will. But there's a 99.9% chance that the change I just gave you has been sufficiently sanitized. So you're welcome.
2. My dream job is to become a secret agent/spy. Seriously. I genuinely daydream about it at least once a day.
3. I'm a closet poet. And I've had several of my poems published in books. I don't tell anyone because I'm suuuper self-conscious of what I write. Which is also why only a few people know about my blog. Count yourself as one of the lucky ones if you've been blessed with this URL.
4. There are very few Taylor Swift songs that don't make me want to tear the radio out... But I pretend to like her because my sister loves her... sorry Steph. Truth comes out, I guess.
5. I'm outrageously paranoid. I always have my pocket knife and pepper spray with me... just in case.
6. I have a secret obsession with cats. Like it's a genuine obsession. If I'm upset, show me a picture of a cat and I'll automatically be overflowing with joy. Also, I'd really love to have a lot of cats. Except I don't think that the amount of cats I want is really an acceptable amount. Especially because I don't want to be known as the crazy cat lady. Which is why I keep that cat obsession secret. If it was up to me, I'd have at least 4, but I think that I'll limit myself to just 2... Simba and Marie. Yes I already have them named. So what?
7. If you haven't already guessed from my future kitty names.... I'm OBSESSED with anything Disney. Literally anything. Also, I have the entire Disney park memorized. From rides to restaurants to bathrooms. I even know where every smoking area is. Mostly because I like to avoid those places, but also because I've walked all around the park at least a million times. Not an exaggeration.
8. I'm far more competitive than your average person. Beat me at ticket to ride, and I genuinely have to calm myself down, or else I might yell at you. Or not talk to you for the next hour. Depending on how bad you beat me and/or if you tried to rub your victory in my face. It upsets me soooo badly.
9. I didn't actually know that I loved to cheer until the day I tried out for BYU. Before then, it was just kind of a thing I did with my friends. You would think that after 6 years of it, I would have figured that out. But now I have a genuine passion for it. Cheerleading is my sport. And I'm in love with it.
10. I'd like to consider myself a cheerful person. Except if you wake me up in the middle of my REM sleep. If so, you better hope I can't get out of bed faster than you can leave the room because, like we learned from #5, I most likely have a pocket knife nearby...
11. 50% of all of my first kisses have been in cars... Classy, I know. Closet tramp, I guess...
12. I secretly have a crush on every boy who has ever told me that they're in love with my laugh. Why? Because it's a hard thing to love. Plus I do it all of the time, so my future husbands gotta love it or he might wanna claw his eyes out within the first year of our marriage.
13. Sometimes[/most of the time] I crave ice cream and alone time. So I used to go out ALL of the time and buy myself an ice cream, park my car in the middle of nowhere, and eat it all by myself ... [double confession, I hate making decisions and sometimes two flavors looked soo good... so I would just buy them both.... and eat them both #fatkidprobs]
14. Despite my awful eating habits, I think I have the hottest bod from the belly button up. And I hate that I just confessed that. But also, I'm outrageously self-conscious of my legs.
15. The only place that I would ever consider getting plastic surgery on my body would be my ears. They stick out. Real bad. And I hate them.
16. I used to be the prodigy child of the century. When I was 2, I potty trained myself. When I was three, I surprised my mom by telling her that she was reading the book wrong, and then proceeded to read the book to her... surprise! I can read. Also when I was three, I bore an adult testimony in sacrament meeting by myself. No generic "I-know-this-church-is-true" "I-love-my-mom-and-dad" testimonies for me. I had thought through actual realistic options for college and my future by age 7. I loved the dentist as a kid because I knew that it was important for my dental health. Same with the doctor. Shots never bothered me. Throughout elementary I had multiple teachers compliment me, my writing, or my projects by saying "Wow! This is very mature, Jessica! Good Work!" The first chapter book I ever read was when I was The Secret Garden. I read it in 1st grade. Some call it a gift. I call it maturing faster than a weed. I don't regret it, but I also don't love to admit my baby genius-ness. It's weird.
17. I've yet to have a teacher that doesn't love me. Say what you will. Suck up, brown-noser, teacher's pet... but I like to say I just have an outrageous amount of charisma.
18. I hated the nickname baby for the first three years that people called me it. Now I don't mind it. But if you're a genuine best friend of mine, you'll use Jess or at least baby Jess... Or call me Jess 50% of the time.
19. Once I decided it was a good idea to make myself a hate journal so I could write out my feelings of hatred toward other people. And 9 years later... There's only like two paragraphs in the thing. I physically can't be mad at someone for longer than 24 hours. It's hard.
I'm bored for now... but maybe I'll bless you with more reasons why you shouldn't be my friend later... You're welcome for embarrassing myself...
Love, Jess
